Countdowning+Story behind the decision

One more week to go, the day is near to the door, my breast is become more and more complicated. Excited? Worrying? Anxiety? Tension? Many things need to consider of, really pressured.

From the day I choose this way, I understand that it kinda a tough job for me. I'm not as lucky as others, get fully support from family (physical and mental). What my family can provide me only their mentally supports. I do every single thing independently, never depend on them since I already an adult, I should take my own responsibilities. Moreover, nothing much they can help me.

I ever feel regret after step on this way, I felt to go beyond my depth. But on the other hand, I don't want to make myself regretful, its kinda a contradiction. Now, everything was foregone conclusion, I need to step on my made decision, that's no way back.

Ba, Ma, Mun and Wai, thanks for see me as the best, thanks for being proud of me although you all didn't give me much but it was more than enough. I'll appreciate this chance and try my very best to achieve what i want.

A (H1N1) Effect

Our world can't stopped with all those disasters. 2002-SARS...2008 SzeChuan-earthquake...and the recent one 2009 A(H1N1)[happened same time with economic recession, it was worse as adding frost on the snow ( 雪上加霜）.

This scarring disease was spread around the world, unfortunately our country was not precluded being one of the victim country. Everyone worrying, frightening, and helpless.

Less than 2 more weeks to go, I'll departs to UK for my further study. Before that, most people said this is a good chance to go and worth to go since the currency low. But the situation now is, A(H1N1) is severe in western country, is it still worth to go or take a risk?

I do considered this issue quite few times, I think most others did it as well, some parent might encourage not to go. Everything was settled and we are ready to go there since this is our aspiration, we don't want to giving up easily. What to do? Step forward? Or giving up?

Nobody willing to let this chance fly away, since efforts was pay out. What we can do is just step on, don't thinking of negativities, and don't regretting ourselves. Lets fight A(H1N1), fight for the desired result and fight for the future!

追星记

日前出席了我的偶像之一，来自泰国的组合-GOLF & MIKE在金河的《同班同学嘉年华会》，这是我第二次出席他们的宣传活动。

抵达现场时， 已有许多粉丝在恭候。事不宜迟， 马上找个好位子， 以便待会能从最好的角度看到他们。我在现场大概等了半个小时左右， 他们终于出现在台上， 帅气调皮GOLF和劲酷腼碘MIKE。他们比预先出场的时间迟了十五分钟， 这已是非常棒了， 蛮准时地说， 十五分钟算少了， 况且我曾有苦等六小时的经验（080329FTI， 那是不好的回忆， 苦等了六小时最后却失望伤心而归）。

这次也蛮到楣的， 节目已开始就下起雨来了， 真的天不作美啊！ 搞到个个都得撑起雨伞， 就这样我的视线也被遮挡了， 害得我得左摄右摄的， 连照片也拍不到。算了吧，反正都很近距离的看到他们了， 专辑也都签了(想起那一次没签到的经历, 唉...)上一次他们来的时候因为MIKE病了所以没有唱歌, 这一次终于能亲眼看到他们的现场表演,蛮不错, 是有实力的(没有刻意辩护哦)

GOLF & MIKE是我喜欢的艺人之一(可能他们比较日韩系吧), 也是我众多偶像中最容易看到的(阿董啊,神起啊,BB,SJ...大韩的男人们,我什么时候才能看到你们呢?要近距离得哦)

说到追星, 我几乎每次都是独行的, 连看演唱会也不例外, 但是我一点也不觉得孤单, 自己喜欢就好, 无需有人陪。幸运的每次都会认识到志同道合的朋友, 也算是意外收获。

Get Tricked

Going back to 1 week ago...

I passed by LRT station, stopped by those promoters of communication operator which with BLUE color corporate color.They giving out the sim packs for free. I was no interest with it at all coz Im loyal to my current service provider. I entangled by them few times same place same people, their patience really geng.

After being entangling by them such many times, ok loh, just take it. I giving out my IC copy, contact, and leave my initial there. I took the sim pack and just keep it a side, I didn't use it at all, I just entertain them and don't want to be entangling anymore.

A week gone, the problem floated. I get trouble by those irresponsible promoter. I get a msg from my handpone service provider which content the acknowledgement about my request to move. OMG! I found that my no. moved under another service provider, my ori sim being invalid. Although the same no kept, but i don't want that. Finally i know I get tricked. Why they didn't explain clearly that time? Such a irresponsible attitude,angry-ing! Make me trouble and rushing here and there, call to customer service, went to service centre, whatever can do just to move it back. I only want to be my ori service provider user, once MAXIS, forever MAXIS. Im not saying that other provider not good, but that is my preference.

This experience such a unforgettable, I won't get persuaded anymore, entertain those promoters anymore.

Getting tired in a whole day just to settle this stuff, but it great that was also my lucky day as well. I get a reward this day, its really surprising me coz this is my first time. Although not such big reward but my heart being consolated enough.

受气！

给个心被当狗肺，这句话听得多， 现在终于亲身体验。
我拿个心出来待人， 得到的只是受气。
与人沟通方面， 我深信你对人好， 别人自然对你好。
原来事实并非如此， 根本没有种瓜的瓜这回事 。
我自问最能迁就人， 很随和， 没什么脾气， 最多只会对爸妈和两个弟弟闹脾气罢了。
我没脾气不代表我没火好欺负，我并不是应分对你好的， 我可以置之不理。
我没那么做事我对你还有心，请你给我一些尊重好吗？
其实我没必要做那么多, 反正对我无关痛痒。
应该做的都为你做了， 有时真的很累， 可是我没半句怨言，不奢望你的感激， 但请别那样对我好吗？
我是人，也需要被尊重的。
不时对我发脾气， 说我不好心肝， 我恐怖， 甚至冤枉我， 这些就是我应得的吗？
你当我是什么？挥之则来， 心情好就对我好， 不好就拿我开刀， 好像理所当然似的。
一直来我都只是哑忍， 因为我想好来好去， 免得伤感情，可是我真的受够了！！

放下了

时间可以把一切冲淡， 任它什么深似海辽如天的感情也不例外。
接近两年的执着，原来也会随着时间而流逝。
是不够坚定？还是不想再蹉跎， 作无谓的守候？
之前的爱慕， 演变成了今天的无关痛痒；
当初的离别有难过， 猜测和期待是否能够再见面，如愿以赏了，只可惜感觉不在了。
心跳的感觉没了， 不再偷望了，思念消失了， 不再关心你的举动了， 仅剩的信息也都删除了， 即使那是我们唯一的相关。
今后，我是路人甲，你是路人乙；
对你而言，我原本就是，不一样的是你不再占据我的心。
我深知没机会就别再深陷了， 与其空等待零收获， 不如另觅他选好了。

Disappointed

this is the 1st time i feel deeply disappointed with someone.
i never expects much from him since i know i wont get what i want, but why cant him just fulfill my simple needs. honestly, its really just simple needs.
everytime when i need him, he is not by my side as he is suppose to do it but others ppl do. did he know how much i need him especially when i feel helpless? thanks for those ppl who lent there hand for me.
i feel tired n angry+disappointed with him, but i dun hate him. but im not sure the day will come in the future day. hopefully it wont happend.